


Attack on Tintin

by RedglareVantas (xanemarths)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Other, excessive crack, forgive me padre for I have sinned, if you think this is serious you need to find another fanfic, it isn't worth it to tag this I give up, marco is alive theories, non horse jokes involving jean, theoretical situations, this was deemed funny at the time, which will never happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1944459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanemarths/pseuds/RedglareVantas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The titan threat has ended. Humanity is safe. Or is it?<br/>A new threat rises, and Eren and his friends must rise to the occasion...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attack on Tintin

Who would have guessed that humanity would overcome the titan threat after a hundred years?

Eren. Eren Jaeger did. 

Eren and all his friends (and some of his non-friends as well) had FINALLY DONE IT. Not a single titan remained.

Okay maybe a few titan shifters BUT THEY HADN’T SHIFTED SINCE THEN SO THEY DIDN’T COUNT.

Humanity was safe, the basement was uncovered, they had reclaimed the old wall, and Survey Corps would be moving out soon to once again explore and reclaim the land beyond. Armin, who was still alive because no one but the most evil person has it in their hearts to kill Armin off, could soon see the ocean or the first time. The beach episode on Attack on Titan was finally coming to be a reality.

Sadly, humanity couldn’t seem to catch a break, because everyone knows that for conflict, there has to be another threat.

Luckily, in spite of being safe in the walls, humans were still a bit too scared to go far outside them. The Survey Corps always had, and that was cool. But humans were still afraid. What existed outside the walls? What if animals would eat them? What if there was something even scarier than the titans?

Eren doubted it, but then, Eren always had been an idiot.

It started just after all of the fandom’s Marco is alive theories came true. Eren was helping to rebuild the Shinginshinawhatits district he had come from, along with Mikasa and Armin and Levi and Hanji. Jean wasn’t there. He said his legs wouldn’t work. He was lying as he’s too straight for this shit, even if Marco was alive. He just was a lazy ass. For the first time, he wasn’t a horse.

Anyway, Levi was complaining about how fucking shitty this place was and all this damn cleaning and look at the bigass wall, Eren. Eren knows. He grew up there.  
Suddenly, the climate changed. It grew warm. The ground shook. Everything was set to happen again.

Eren turned, to see the horror in his best friend’s eyes. “What is it, Eren?” he asked, before remembering that he was Eren and he was, in fact, not Jean. Also he was talking to Armin. The blonde was silent for a moment. 

“It’s one of them,” he whispered, pointing at a head that had just started to loom over the walls. His finger shook, his body shook, he looked like he was about to be sick.  
“A Tintin.”

An orange haired man with a blue shirt towered over the walls, looking in. Already Mikasa, Levi, and Eren were entering full on kill mode, 3dmg and all. Guren no Yumiya began playing again, even though technically it shouldn’t have since Eren was now in Survey Corps and Trost had been won.

The Attack on Tintin began now.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ask essentially I started reading the manga, saw the Colossal Titan appear, and lost my shit because all I could think of was a post that said "it's one of them... a Tintin..."
> 
> This is why I can't take the fandom seriously.


End file.
